What Feels Right
by lahmrh
Summary: K/S. Kirk is in love with Spock. Spock is dating Uhura. Spock Prime intervenes.


Written for the kink meme prompt: (post movie) Kirk trying to explain to Spock Prime why he and nu!Spock are not together in this time even though Kirk is in love with him (yes, Spock Prime knows that). stuff happens, happy ending.

bonus points if:  
- at some point nu!Spock sees the two of them talking and is like "this is my Kirk, not yours."  
- you have scene with Spock Prime confronting nu!Spock about this.

**What Feels Right**

Kirk isn't particularly fond of New Vulcan, but he likes spending time with Ambassador Spock. Given that he'd saved Kirk's life the first time they'd met, it isn't really surprising that Kirk has developed some affection for the old man, and, he admits, it's nice to spend time with a Spock that doesn't hate him. Not that Spock – the younger one – actually _hates _him. Not any more, anyway. But they're barely friends, let alone anything as meaningful as the connection the ambassador had spoken of.

The ambassador – Kirk finds it easier if he thinks of the elder Spock as the ambassador – looks at Kirk like he's important, special. There are very few people in his life that have looked at him that way, and he basks in it, even if the ambassador sometimes also looks at him like he expects Kirk to be someone else. But he can't help wishing that the younger Spock would look at him that way.

Kirk doesn't have much experience with love, but he thinks what he feels for Spock must be fairly close. Except that he couldn't have chosen a worse person to fall in love with. Spock barely seems to tolerate him half the time and, even if they got past that, he's dating Uhura. Kirk is glad that Vulcans don't really do public displays of affection – he's not sure he'd be able to bear it. It's hard enough to see them together and not let on how much it hurts. Because maybe he is stupidly in love with Spock and part of that means he wants Spock to be happy.

He hasn't told anyone about any of this, not even McCoy, and he'd thought he'd been doing a pretty good job of hiding his feelings. So he's caught off guard when the ambassador hands him a cup of tea and asks compassionately, "Are you having trouble with my counterpart, Jim?"

Kirk stares into his cup. "Not exactly."

"But you _are_ troubled."

Kirk glances up at him. "How do you _do_ that?" Even McCoy doesn't know him that well.

The ambassador's eyes soften. "Years of practice." He sets his own cup on the table between them. "Do you want to discuss it?"

"I…" Kirk takes a sip of his tea. The other man will figure it out eventually, whether Kirk tells him or not, and he thinks if he doesn't talk about it with _someone_ he'll go crazy. On the other hand, if he's read things wrong, this could be a supremely awkward conversation. "You know me so well; you figure it out."

The ambassador pauses for a few moments, then the corners of his mouth twitch upwards. "Have you informed my counterpart of your feelings?"

Kirk nearly chokes on his tea. He sets the cup down and gapes at the older man. "Are you reading my mind?" That's a seriously unfair advantage.

Amusement flashes in the ambassador's eyes. "No, Jim. You forget; I know you. Or, at least, a version of you." He looks nostalgic. "In many ways you and he are quite similar."

Kirk considers this. "So in your world, you and the other me were together?"

"Yes; for many years."

"What about Uhura?" Kirk asks, frowning.

The ambassador looks puzzled. "I'm afraid I don't follow you."

Kirk's frown deepens. "You and her weren't…."

The ambassador's eyebrows shoot up. "My counterpart is involved with Lieutenant Uhura?"

"Yeah," Kirk replies, surprised by his reaction. "That didn't happen in your world?"

"No." The ambassador looks as if he suspects Kirk of playing some kind of joke on him. "She had no interest in a romantic relationship with me, nor I with her. We were friends."

Kirk swallows, and says quietly, "Because you loved _me_." He doesn't really know how to feel about that; about the idea that in another lifetime Spock had chosen _him_, and they'd been happy.

"Yes." The ambassador takes a sip of tea and appears to consider the situation. "This is… unexpected."

At that moment there is a knock on the door and the ambassador stands. "I shall return shortly."

Kirk nods, and takes another drink from his cup as the ambassador goes to answer the door. He returns quickly, and, to Kirk's surprise, Spock is with him.

"Captain," Spock greets with a nod. He sounds surprised, though that might be Kirk projecting. "I had not expected to see you here."

"I could say the same," Kirk replies. "I thought you had plans with Uhura." It takes a great deal of effort to keep the bitterness out of his tone.

"There is something I wish to discuss with my counterpart."

"Do you want me to leave?" Kirk begins to stand.

Spock hesitates. "It is not urgent. I could return later."

The ambassador cuts in at this point, addressing Kirk. "There are things that I would like to discuss with Spock as well. Perhaps if you return in an hour?" He looks over at Spock, who nods.

"That would be acceptable," Spock says. "If the captain agrees."

"It's fine by me." Kirk shrugs. "I've been meaning to have a look around, anyway." As he turns to leave Kirk feels the ambassador lightly brush their fingers together, and is surprised by the sudden spark of emotion in Spock's eyes. He's endlessly curious about what it is the two of them are about to discuss.

* * * * *

When Kirk has left, the younger Spock bursts out, "You touched his hand."

Spock raises an eyebrow. "Does that bother you?"

"It is unfair to him. He is unaware of the meaning." His younger self is clearly displeased and Spock suppresses a smile. It seems all is not lost.

He sits down at the table. "There was something you wished to discuss?"

His counterpart's expression changes as he sits down opposite. "That is correct. I…" He takes a breath and starts again. "My father told me he married my mother because he loved her."

Spock is caught off guard. He had known, intellectually, that his mother would not have stayed with a man who couldn't love her, but for his father to reveal such a thing to him would have been unthinkable. "You do not believe him?"

His younger self looks past him. "I did not think Vulcans were allowed to love."

Spock remembers when he had believed the same, and what that belief had almost cost him. "It is as any other emotion; dangerous only if you allow it to control you."

His counterpart nods. "There is a woman I have become close to. She wishes me to love her, but I do not know how."

Spock marvels that he had once been so blind. "This woman is Lieutenant Uhura?"

His counterpart's eyes flick to meet Spock's. "How…?" Then understanding flashes across his face. "You learned this from the captain?"

"Yes." Then, unable to help himself, Spock adds, "He is a good man."

His younger self does not disagree. "I have found him to be a highly proficient captain." He pauses. "We are becoming friends."

"And you are content with that?" Spock asks.

"I do not understand." His counterpart frowns, and adds quickly, "And I did not come here to discuss Captain Kirk. I came to ask if there was someone you had loved, in the hope that I can better understand my own emotions."

Spock raises his eyebrows. "I'm afraid I cannot answer your question without reference to James Kirk."

It takes a few seconds for that to sink in before his younger self gives him a look that is equal parts amazement and disbelief. "I assume you refer to the James Kirk from your own universe," he says, a hint of possessiveness creeping into his voice. Spock wonders if he has noticed it.

"That is correct. He was… very special to me."

"You loved him." His counterpart is silent for a moment. "You loved _him_."

Spock nods. "I may be overstepping my bounds, but perhaps the reason you do not love Lieutenant Uhura is that she is not who you were meant to be with."

His younger self's eyes flash with anger and Spock wonders if he has pushed too hard. "That is not your decision, _Elder_." The last word is almost a curse; Spock does not remember ever being so easy to provoke.

"No, it is not," he agrees. "And maybe I am wrong. But it would be wise of you to at least consider the possibility." He pauses. "I will admit that James Kirk is not the logical choice. However, logic is not everything."

"You told me to put aside logic and do what feels right," his younger self notes.

"Yes. And if you decide that means remaining with Lieutenant Uhura, then I shall not interfere. But you should be certain that she is who you really want."

His counterpart's anger ebbs slowly. "This is not what I expected when I came here," he admits quietly, and stands. "I shall leave now; you have given me much to consider." He raises a hand in the traditional salute. "Live long and prosper."

* * * * *

The ambassador suggests to Kirk that he ask the younger Spock to play chess. Kirk expects to be turned down, but makes the attempt anyway. He's surprised when Spock agrees, and even more surprised when, two weeks and half a dozen chess matches later, Spock tells him that he and Uhura have broken up.

Kirk's first question is, "Why?"

Spock focuses on the board. "I realised that she was not who I wanted to be with."

He looks up and Kirk swallows, but refuses to hope until Spock reaches forward and takes his hand.

Kirk feels like kind of an idiot when Spock explains what hand touching actually means to Vulcans, but he can't really be annoyed at the ambassador when _this _is the outcome. Instead he sends the old man a message that simply says _Thank you_.


End file.
